Happy Birfday to me Pops!
It was on this day that me beloved Father Dear entered this world back a few years ago and I'd like to take a second to wish him the happiest of birthdays. I called Moms [...]
Have you seen my watch?
I can't seem to find it. It says "FOSSIL" on the face and is affixed to a rather wide piece of black leather which starts to smell funny if it gets wet.My watch was last [...]
This Memorial Day, I’m not getting paid!
Yaaay!Because I am an ignorant American citizen who is about as knowledgeable with history as I am quantum physics, I have no idea what Memorial Day is for. Usually, I celebrate it as "get paid [...]
Pee-nocchio
Caution: inappropriate observation aheadI saw an ad this morning featuring Pinocchio and Gepetto as the main characters. I don't remember what exactly it was for, but it was nothing Disney related. If you're not Disney [...]
One of the worst ways to bother me…
I will preface this entry with a lyric from an old KISS tune:"I'm walkin' down the street mindin' my own business.."Heavy stuff, I know. But that's what I was doing. And it was raining. A [...]
Cottage Grove po-leese department (continued)
Joe Berkman emailed me this link today (thanks, Joe!):http://www.startribune.com/stories/467/5424219.htmlRemember... this man is the head of the same league of outstanding community protectors that pulled yours truly over, impounded my Pinto and threw me in jail [...]
Iced Ink Online back up and running and a few other things
The Iced Ink website has returned - lots of new gnus, new shows, and a lot more for you to poop on; all for just the price of a glass of water. Things are sounding [...]
Egg Beatnik
Pardon me, do you have theTime to make the donutsLock me up and throw away theKeys to a brand new car-X MenI Can't Believe It's Not BetterOff DeadStubbed myTow truckdo you have a BuckRogers, RogerPour [...]
And now on a more serious note…
Pardon me while I take my clown mask off for a day to attempt to use this blog and all of you lovely readers as a coping mechanism. Caution to animal lovers: this is gonna [...]
Enough of the Snickers already
We have a bag of Snickers that is supposed to last until a party tomorrow. I accidentally opened it and started eating them. Get that fucking bag away from me!! "Fun Size" my ass..."Fun Size" [...]
Gazing at Hot Dog mittens instead of Darth Vader
Star Wars fever is back!Yes, I'm one of those people. If you were a kid in the 70s like I was, there was no escaping being helplessly drawn in to George Lucas' epic brainwashing tales. [...]
Magnetic fish
I want to go fishing so bad it hurts. The only thing holding me back is I don't want to touch the slimy bait to bait the hook, and I wouldn't know what in the [...]
Hey kids – it’s Extreme Frisbee Golf!
We went to play frisbee golf on Sunday. Twas my first ever time doing such a thing and just between you and me, I think I've finally found yet another "sport" I am capable of [...]
Be nice to your friend’s sister – she may be cutting your hair someday.
My homey Pete just posted a response on my Scare Cut blog that weirded me out.Long story short, my hair used to be so long that it would get stuck in the zipper of my [...]
Cheaters
Our latest guilty pleasure as far as reality television shows go is a program called Cheaters. The show goes like this:1) Girl/boy becomes suspicious that their significant other is cheating (hence the clever name "Cheaters").2) [...]
Day in court, Part Deux
It was a cold and rainy day (as you may have heard non-fucking STOP on the evening news) and I showed up for what was my 2nd and final court appearance for being pulled over [...]