2 words: 56K modem.Here is the process:1) Log onto internet2) Look on job pages, bite nails and pull out hair while waiting at least 30 seconds for pages to load3) Once page is half loaded, [...]

I was walking around in Barnes and Noble today while wearing corduroy pants.I like corduroys as much as the next guy, but they were making that fwwwwip..fwwwwwip.. noise as I was walking from the inner [...]

I truly believe there is no God.Why?Because as of today, a bevy of chigger bites have appeared on my skin.Chiggers are the herpes of nature. They give you bites that itch something fierce, and itch [...]

If you’re not a cat person, you may as well just skip this one and go about your daily business, you filthy cat-hating ninny.My new kitty Frank has finally come out of his shell 3 [...]

Those words, my friends, are the recipe for getting your drug-deal partner bound, gagged, and carved up with a chainsaw like a Thanksgiving turkey while a nice man points a gun to your head to [...]

We had lunch the other day in a local watering hole and I noticed a sign that caught my attention. It read: NO GUNS ALLOWED BEYOND THIS ENTRANCE. "But Micycle, I see those all over [...]

I've always daydreamed about making my own ridiculous T-shirts and stickers... seems as if I've finally stumbled onto a place which will allow me to do so. And better yet, you can spend your hard-earned [...]

I'm sitting at the coffee shop looking for work and listening to yet another pompous asshole talk way too loud on his cellular device. This happens about 8 out of 10 times I sit in [...]

It's time for you to meet RedBox.If you haven’t seen the ads yet, Mac-Donald’s now rents movies via a giant red robotic cube placed in the lobby called a Redbox. Pay it a dollar and [...]

FridayNot much new today. We are building a new hill, as some bastard kid rode his bike over our old one and took it out. Ha ha, very funny. We'll show him. We're gonna build [...]

Last night I whooped up a nice nuclear Heat-N-Eat dinner which featured Chicken Twinkies as the main course. I usually like to take more of a from-scratch approach, but sometimes when you're short on time [...]

My band Iced Ink is playing a FREE show on June 24th with the all encompassingly awesome Silly Little Nothings, one of my favorite bands in the area. Ne'er heard the other two bands, but [...]

Just saw an ad on the TV for a nicotine patch and thought out loud, "Why not partner with the Band-Aid company and make a dual purpose bandage/nicotine patch?"They could put the nicotine solution on [...]

I experienced a breaking local news story yesterday on channel 5 in regards to how to deal with the heat and humidity. Viewers were advised the following if feeling exhausted and lethargic due to our [...]

After reading through my past journal entries, I've realized that Holy Hell, I sure am a wordy long-winded sonofabitch. Paragraph after paragraph... blah blah blah! It is a side effect of having no job and [...]

No, this ain't about no Star Wars, but it is about my new used 1987 Ford Escort station wagon which my sister aptly named The Death Star.When I was a kid, I told myself over [...]