Every so often I think back to 3rd Grade when I sat next to an orange haired fella named Jim. His last name started with a B, that's alls I remember. I always found him [...]

I splurged and bought me a dandy tin of $2 Altoids Sour Chewing Gum the other day, mainly because I'm a sucker for tins, and this one happened to be decorated in my favorite shade [...]

As she stood outside, she heard the bustling traffic in the distance. It sounded as if the highway were breathing, save for a horn honk here and there on a nearby busy street which sort [...]

It's my brother Chuck's birfday today - yaaay! (He's Frensch Flies on me MySpace top 8.)My brother rules. He plays viola like I like to play geetar. He also does pretty damned good on the [...]

It's amazing how easy it is to find the stuff - not even a half a block away from my apartment in the middle of the afternoon, no less. Oh, I'm gonna party tonight, yes [...]

Okay, let me lay some shit out for you here about my past. I recently have crossed paths with a lad I used to play with in my toddler days, and I've got a bone [...]

Tonight I have very special plans for a very special someone out there. I'm going to start by making my special homestyle fried chiggen for dinner. It will be accompanied by a side of buttered [...]

Says who? Says me.I walked past 4 people today (all men, mind you), and fer cryin' out loud. Put on some fucking deodorant, man! Seriously.Sure, we all have those days where we're in a hurry [...]

Just lookie here at what I have in store for you, you sexy portable music lover, you:For Sale: 1 Sony™ Micycle™ Edition iPod™ $320.98/firmIn a last ditch effort to gather monies together to own one [...]

I can’t remember exactly how it started, but one of the first things I remember about this dream is punching my alarm clock because it was making a horrendous amount of hullabaloo oh so early [...]

T0day I gav3 my c0mput3r's k3yb0ard a g00d cl3aning aft3r spilling s0m3 0rang3 juic3 0n th3 spac3bar | I t00k it all apart and s0ak3d th3 k3ys in s0apy wat3r |  Man’ y0u w0uldn,t b3li3v3 what [...]

If your bathroom window is about 20 feet away from a window in the neighboring complex that appears to be that of a yellow kitchen with me in it, I have one small suggestion:You might [...]

I had 6 or 7 stray Cheerios left in my bowl with a wee splash of sugary milk. I had to leave the room for a minute to answer my telly-a-phone and came back to [...]

This isn't the most fascinating thing to write about, but these are the sort of things that keep me up late at night.I was just sipping on a Dr Pepper and got to wondering: What [...]

Attn. motorhead bitches: I repeat: the Pinto is Not for Sale.A few days ago I walked out to my car and saw a sheet of paper underneath the driver's side winda-sheild wiper. Aw shit, says [...]